Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
