nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize