So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
