I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
