My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
