i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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