Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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