Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
