just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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