Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
