i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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