Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Are my feet made of real feet?
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i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
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I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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