The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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