This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
