idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
