dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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