I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
