bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
