Don't you send me to vm
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
