did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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