god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
