one two three fourrrrnication!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
