Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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