the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
