One girl and one boy is just not enough.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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