It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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