She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize