I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
