Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
