so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
