hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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