It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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