You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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