i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So vagazzling was a success
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
