Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
