well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
