I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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