this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
