just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
