So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
