I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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