Who did Billy Mays play for?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
