I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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