glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His hands were made for my vagina.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
