Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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