I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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