just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
