I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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