I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
