omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
