no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
