I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize