just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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