Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
