Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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