next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
