For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
