she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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