Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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