Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
