I am spending my child support on dildos
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
