Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
