can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
